What's in Your Wallet?

As it turns out, my wallet is full of an absurd amount of miscellaneous useless crap:

See that? That's my old wallet. Seriously, it's just about two inches thick. No, I do (did) not keep it in my back pocket. It simply would not fit. The thing was so clunky that I could barely get it out of my pocket at the drive through of a fast food joint: I had to prepare ahead of time to retrieve the damn thing.

So I got sick of all my friends fucking on me for having such a retarded leather contraption in my pocket, and got a new one:

The new on is on the left. It's full.

The old one is on the right. It's empty.

Yep, seriously, the new wallet full of stuff is thinner than the old wallet empty.

You know what the problem is? I'll tell you. It's MacGuyver.

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No, seriously. I was a huge macGuyver fan as a kid, and always wanted to have a pocket knife, and any type of contraption or gadget or collection of stuff. This tinkering nerdly obsession led me to seek out the wallet with the absolute maximum possible number of pockets, slots, and folds possible.

Ok, perhaps the other problem is all the god damn Store Membership Cards. Super markets, book stores, drug stores, clothing stores, etc, etc. I have fifty bloody cards sitting in my wallet that I barely ever use, just taking up space and making me burn precious extra calories lugging those hunks of plastic and cellulose around.

I've now moved these cards into the car, where I select the one I need when I'm actually at the damn store I need it for.

At any rate, only later in life after much verbal abuse and mockery from my friends have I come to realize that less is more in a number of scenarios. So clearly, peer pressure is a good thing. :swat:

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Oh, and the Capital One marketing team can go and collectively die in a fiery bus crash for those stupid mind-numbing 'what's in your wallet?" commercials, only surpassed in ubiquity and stupidity by Geico. They can die too.