Art

This is sort of a 'proof of progress' piece.

By that I mean it's related to the whole ADHD thing. As in, now that I'm on meds, I can work on things like this. I just worked on this thing for hours, until my knuckles cramped up, and here I am putting it up on the web and all that on top of all the drawing.

Not much of an achievement, but compared to how bloody difficult it's been for me to stick to any one task in the past, this was epic. I'll admit; it's not quite done. I may still go back and add a proper background and clean up the robot alien thing a bit, but even if I don't, this is ok. Done is better than perfect.

This was a good one to break my hand back in on. I did some of the work out in the hybrid after the hurricane hit and took out our power. Let me tell you; hanging out alone in a car in a pitch black area with the interior lights on while drawing on a tablet starts off as uncomfortable, rapidly reaches full blown paranoia, and finally descends into the squealing heebie jeebies once your imagination gets the better of you.

Speaking of drawing in odd places, I cannot wait to get a hold of the new wacom Inkling when it comes out. Go out and google it; there's plenty out there. It's a regular ball point pen that also happens to track every line and stroke and store them digitally. and then you export them, and you have true vector art of what you just drew. SO AWESOME

Anyway, it's late, I'm stoned on ambien, and it's time to crash. before this post gets REALLY weird.

This is a tough bastard of a blog entry to write. Most of these, when I update them, are pretty meaningless and not well thought out. Hell, half of them are stream-of-consciousness, so there's no forethought in them at all.

This one's gonna be different. I've been thinking about this one for weeks now.

I'm going to stop doing commissions.

I still have a few on the deck that I'm going to finish up, and there are a handful of people that have been excellent to me, and I will always be willing to whip up some work for them.

But this commission phase of my life, for now, is over.

I've been oddly successful with the commission work, which is great. The problem is me. That sounds like a "It's not you, it's me" breakup line, and I guess it is, sort of. You see, I need to be very very selfish with my art. I don't have it in me to make art for other people, to bring their vision to life. I can do it, but it's not what I need.

My art needs to be my own stuff, my own vision, my own whatever.

Because if it's not for just me, then I'm going to lose my shit and wind up in a straight jacket somewhere, drawing stuff with crayons on my padded cell wall, because that's all they give to the patients there. Crayons. It's hard to hurt anyone with a crayon. Not impossible, but difficult.

See, I had one of those things that people refer to as a "completely fucked up childhood". I don't talk about it much on here, because a few years back I decided to work towards becoming a professional artist. Professional meant that I had to censor myself; can't offend potential clients or anything, since who knows when the next job would come in. I had this lofty goal of quitting my day job and becoming some kind of freelance renegade artist type. It sounded so exciting on paper!

The reality of it is that it is, in fact... work. Lots and lots of work. I'm not opposed to work; I've been working for most of my adult life and quite a bit of my teenage years too. But that's different from turning your cherished pastime into a regular day job.

I had been warned that this might happen. By multiple people too; but this is one of those things that you've just gotta go and try for yourself, even if other people can tell it's probably a shitty idea for you. Sort of like that friend who's going to get married to a complete fucking lunatic, and you just have to let them go through it and be there when the dust settles. Maybe not quite that severe, but you see what I'm getting at.

So I turned my hobby into a job. Works for some; not for me. I killed the joy in it. No more therapeutic outlet, just a second night job after my day job. No more diving into my own brain to escape the other bad shit in my brain. No more creative juices flowing, just a meager trickle to get the jobs done.

As a person with a "completely fucked up childhood" I need to put my coping mechanisms back in place. Turning a hobby into a job is fine. Turning a coping mechanism into a job is a recipe for a nervous breakdown.

So that's what I'm going to do.

I know this is probably getting way too emo at this point, so let me lay it out: No more commissions. but I am going to work on my personal art again. And lucky for some of you, Steamvolt is among my personal art. Steamvolt makes me feel good. The little monsters I draw, the pretty girls, the creatures I now sculpt... all that's my personal stuff. Keeps me grounded.

My goals are simple: I just want to make stuff that I think is interesting and cool. If someone wants to pay me for that; awesome. If not, that's fine too. I'll just keep doing my thing either way.

I am so busy.

No, really. This isn't like 'busy getting top tier gear through raidng in warcraft' busy, or 'I took a second job scrubbing shitters for cash desperation' busy.

No, these are real, honest to goodness art commissions. I've got a bunch of them all rolling in at once. Hell, some of them are even paid for and just waiting for my ass to finish them up. I have a dozen Goblins to draw, Hip-hop themed and ethnically diverse angels, city skylines, men sitting on toilets with their laptop or rocking a kilt with attitude. And that's just the drawing shit I have to do, never mind my own slow suffering money-pit comic projects.

On top of that I started sculpting. I just sort of blundered into some awesome guys who make weirdo toys at www.HalfBadToyz.com. Sort of a happy accident really, so here I am setting up a sculpting station and trying to figure out what the fuck I'm doing with polymer clay; something I've really never worked with before. But man, it is interesting.

My shopping get a little sketchy when I have to set up for a new type of project. This latest round included 1500 and 600 grit sandpaper, neodymium magnets, a bar of steel, pin spreaders, a full set of dentist's picks, a heat gun, turpenoid mineral spirits, a wire brush, super glue, and all sorts of other crap that makes me look like I'm up to no good.

So, yeah... I'm busy.

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It's a good busy though. A wise man once told me that a hard day spent drawing is better than a hard day doing almost anything else, and I think he's right. It's more than just drawing though, it's doing anything creative and interesting. Another wise man once said that you shouldn't worry too much about making money at your chosen craft. Just be awesome, and the rest will come inevitably. A little more optimistic than I prefer, but I think I agree with the sentiment. If you're just doing something to make cash, it'll probably suck. There has to be some heart behind it.

I actually collect little quotes and sayings like those all the time. Little motivational or inspirational sayings. I feel like a traitor to the cause of pessimistic cynicism when I do, but they keep me going, so fuck it.

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In other news, I have hired a web master. He's a little slow, so I need to flog him with an electrical cord now and then to get him motivated. I can get away with this since he's living with us. I'm not very good at keeping my indentured servants in line though. I'm too soft. I think I'll go throw things at him until he starts working again. Later!

I had a request to add in some Cafepress junk based on my old raging code monkey pic, so I cleaned it up (a little; I'm lazy) and loaded it up there.

New store is: http://www.cafepress.com/raging_code_monkey

Which also sort of reminds me, what other images of mine do people want on shirts and other merch? (Hmm, merch is an odd word...) If there's something you want, I can probably be pretty easily motivated to add it. I'm a capitalist whore like that. :D

HEY! GUESS WHO'S SICK OF DRAWING LIQUOR BOTTLES???

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THAT'S RIGHT!! IT'S MEEEE!!

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That'll make a lot more sense if you read the comic... really, it will.

Ok, in all seriousness, I'm gonna damn well try to get more of these out. I've tried for some really aggressive time schedules in the past, but it's bloody hard with a full time non-art related job and all the other bullshit that comes from being a grown up productive member of society *sigh*

So my plan is a bit more conservative this year, and I'm committing to one per month minimum, and more if I can squeeze them in. I'm trying to cut some superfluous production time by simplifying some work and taking a deep breath before I get sucked into meaningless details too. We'll see how it goes :)

Anyway, let me know if I missed anything. I hate it when I do that.

Click the picture to see the comic!

So I got a full copy of painter last month on sale, because I want to expand my digital art skills. Some of the work I see artists create using painter blows my mind; it seems to have a flow and organic feel to it that's lacking in more technical programs like Photoshop.

The only problem is, I have no idea how to use it.

It's not that it's hard, it's just that I'm having a bloody hard time getting the brushes to do what I want. It's pretty frustrating when you're coming from something you know like the back of your hand (photoshop, for me) and trying out a whole new software with a completely different kind of work flow.

I guess I need to go to youtube and start watching videos on it :P

That bunny is from a line sketch last year that I decided to color in painter... and just failed. So I wussed out and went back to photoshop to finish coloring it.

Dear Blog, I know I haven't been around as much lately, and that I've been distant and cold and somewhat indifferent to your needs. But that's because I've been spending time with someone who doesn't need constant updates, or who chews up and shits out incomprehensible CSS code onto the carpet, or who makes me jump through a dozen steps just to get one picture loaded properly.

But that's ok, because I still love you, and I'm not going to neglect you so much anymore. I'll try to fix up your annoying flaws and turn you into the type of blog I want to spend time with.

Anyway, enough of that, now for some art:

Click on this one to see the uncensored version. I figure some people may look at this at work, and I don't want to get anyone fired by flashing titties up on their screen right from my front page.

Day 29 and 30!

These are all actual pencil sketches I did at work on an assortment of breaks during that month I did all those sketches.

Sooo... that's it then! I realize now that I've been a little less productive that I need to do one sketch per day, at least, to keep my art mojo going. So my plan for 2011 is to do at least one sketch per day, for the entire year. So stay tuned, you're going to get sick of my blog posts pretty soon, I think. :)

Well, survived another one. And now for art!

Day 25: Some sort of messed up rabbit thing and a bandit wizard!

Day 26: A Totoro looking critter and a girl in a bikini riding a flying whale!

Day 27: A kid trying hard to be cool and avoid another miserable day at school, and a bizarre scene that was supposed to be a landscape, but it actually looks like a couple of ass cheeks and some weirdos staring at it. I swear, they were supposed to be hills, although this is way funnier in hindsight.

Day 28: SOme kind of detective dude with a gun, and a weird evil clown critter thing.

And the final sketch of 2010! Some sort of patrolling robot thing.

Happy new year and all that!

Day 24!

Feminine pulchritude; bikini chic on a hoverbike! And... an alien, shocker, I know, I never draw those. I don't think he likes the looks of the tricorder readings...